Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My bed smells like the plague
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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