Life is so much better after having sex.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
