she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
