Are we in a gay sports bar?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just cut my nipple shaving
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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