I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My friends, they love my intelligence
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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