hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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