OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
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She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This is the high leading the old right now
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
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I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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