Michael Bay diarrhea
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
