I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
