I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
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Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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