are you still at the devil's house?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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