Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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