So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize