is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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