I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
