Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
