I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
