Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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