I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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