Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
