We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
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You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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