She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
