fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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