i permit you to call me
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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