I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
