alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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