Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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