the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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