Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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