I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
