I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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