Ambien. No doubt about it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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