we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
