Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
