oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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