He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
