Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
