it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize