alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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