I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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