WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
