You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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