Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
