Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
