Soap is not a condiment
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
