I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize