Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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