i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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