in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
