let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Rumble strips road head = magical
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
