Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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