it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I met the friendliest cop last night
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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