office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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