his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
