google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Randomize
