I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
