Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Princesses don't give blow jobs
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
