its not stalking. its research.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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