Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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