Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
