that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
