dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
