I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
