That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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