I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
